The Onion Movie

6.09

80 minutes

5/31/2008

Overview

Venerable newscaster Norm Archer reports the latest news in politics, health, culture and entertainment - such as an automotive recall of decapitation-inducing "Neckbelts" and a study finding that "depression hits losers hardest". This compilation of bogus news stories, celebrity profiles, movie trailers and skits come courtesy of the ace satirists at The Onion.

Cast List

Len Cariou
as Norm Archer
Steven Seagal
as Cock Puncher
Larissa Laskin
as Dana Dobbs
Ken Takemoto
as Sensei
Don McManus
as Dennis McCormick
Michael Bolton
as Michael Bolton
Ahmed Ahmed
as Ahmed
Brendan Fletcher
as White Black Guy Tim
Daniel Dae Kim
as Ivy Leaguer
Meredith Baxter
as Cooking Show Chef
Jed Rees
as Wizard Proteus
Rodney Dangerfield
as Rodney Dangerfield
Ahmed B. Badran
as Peruvian
Brian Powell
as Typical Neighbor Husband
Scott Klace
as Kip Kendall
Barbara Pilavin
as Alzheimers Old Lady
Sandy Kenyon
as Alzheimers Guy in Crowd
Orlando Seale
as Producer
Erik Stolhanske
as Producer
Sarah McElligott
as Melissa Cherry
Randy Oglesby
as Surgeon General
Kwame Boateng
as Dibo
Richard Fancy
as Kenneth Garber
Alex Solowitz
as The Masses
Savannah Haske
as Rapist Lisa
Rebecca Lowman
as Rape Victim Julie
Jim Gleason
as Steel Beam Architect
Michael Harney
as Line-Up Detective
Angel Cassidy
as Porn Star
Gauge
as Porn Star
Robert Hoffman
as Lollipop Love Dancer
Joel McHale
as Office Worker
Harry Shum Jr.
as Lollipop Love Dancer
Kevin Federline
as Lollipop Love Dancer
Bo Barrett
as Wigger Jim
Chrissy Metz
as Heavy Girl
Marshall Manesh
as Announcer
Greg Cipes
as Hippie Diplomant
Nick Chinlund
as Bryce Brand
Jim Rash
as Bryce's Manager
Paul Scheer
as Bates Computer Salesman Dirk
John Viener
as Peen Out Guy
Gedde Watanabe
as James Nakatami
Chris Villa
as Gay Guy
Michael Delaney
as Gil Bates
Karen Miller
as Cockpuncher Entourage